My daughter called this evening; in fact, she called several times today. I miss you, Daddy, her words said. I am sad, said her voice. And that textured, tangible pain somewhere deeper within her rose up and troubled her mind, and she began to speak of things that aren’t, and imagined things that never were.

She is not alone in that practice, just as she is not alone in her passage, whether her trajectory is from one day to the next, or one self to the next. This morning she came from the house when I asked, fed the rabbit and gave it water, gathered her things to go to her mother’s house. She waited in the driveway as I finished shovelling away last night’s snow. You’re so good, my words said. She seemed surprised: I am? her words said. You just turned off the computer and got ready and came out, you took care of your pet; your teachers know how good you are, and your coach, and probably your friends. You are loved and your are enough, my voice said. She stood in the driveway, arms hugging her clothing and her books, and smiled.

A phrase often heard in physical training programs, from triathletes to bicyclists to climbers to yogis, is “working your edge.” No matter what level of experience we have attained in a given sport, there is always a level of activity or mental acuity beyond that which we are familiar. There is always a more open or more human experience waiting, just outside of our comfort zone. Sometimes the highest experience is far outside that comfort zone, in fact.

By heaven and the night star!  And what shall teach thee which is the night star?  The piercing star.  Over every soul there is a watcher…

We find ourselves through an effort of discovery. That we are all born into this life, with years of uncovering to follow, is simple, and fact. The events in which we play part or which come upon us are the mirror, and our senses and our eyes, through the effort of discovery, open to all that is being reflected. Until we find the strength to open and see the good and the bad, until we look and see our failures and our graces, the glass is blank; the name is unwritten; and the night star, your night star, is for you invisible.

Many Buddhist traditions share a specific practice for opening the eyes, opening the eyes of the heart. 

If you follow the path of enlightenment that Gautama Buddha walked, one who wishes to be free of entangling thoughts and desires – desire for the next and better car, the other better house, a different and better partner – makes an active attempt to embrace impermanence. Meaning: one does everything in his or her power to realize that this life passes with the snap of the fingers, that much of our effort comes to no result, and that in our hurry we often miss opportunities for seeing what truly has value.

The human spirit and the human body seek to be refreshed. Seek to find: the human body feels movement in the cells, a one-way current of life through life, source to sea. The human spirit opens wider and wider as waves of experience crash against its sand and stone; we are carved into bays and bars by the tide.

We seek, at a conscious or subconscious level, to be refreshed, and apparent refreshment appears at our reaching fingertips. We scarcely need to make an effort. A student of mine brings a passage from a book she had been reading… on her telephone. A man or a woman walks down the street, slim wire running from ear-buds to hip, while at the hip a small white box contains hours or days of favorite music, presented in the order or disorder desired, at the highest fidelity.

In our naturally egocentric way, we consider our senses channels of information that bring the world to us. We scan the horizon to identify threat or opportunity, we read; we listen to what is hidden or to what is spoken, what is sung; we are drawn to scents and repelled from odors, and we delight in the flavor of what is pleasing, disgorging what is foul; we feel heat and cold, abrasion and softness.

The effort it takes to communicate with words…

A single picture is worth a thousand of them; and a single touch is worth a thousand pictures. If we have practiced all with good attention, then words become the lowest form of communication, they are heart and mind thrown at a distance to perhaps be caught, perhaps be dropped: certainly they paint only one-thousandth of a picture, or one millionth of a touch.

I can feel nothing but joy with the gentle return of Spring weather, and today the breezes are away, the clouds hesitant, so the sun embraces you, unveiled and unrestrained. 

If you stand for a moment – and we rarely stand for even one moment – the whole of the reawakening world flows around and into you. The heat on closed eyelids and lips warms the skin, and somehow penetrates more deeply, as though the frequencies of light soothed and charged the cells of the body equally, from the outside in and from the inside out.

Yesterday we finished another 8-week series in our Moving Into Balance awareness program. It is such a blessing to be able to offer small words, and have the hungry heart make of them great meals. Look at these amazing people: you toss out a few lentils, a few peppercorns, and with the human ability to create art from clay, at the end of a few weeks play, those lentils are the finest fare, the most satisfying, the most delicately flavored…

The heart is torn by wind. When the heart-wind rises, true words are taken and replaced with falsehoods. That is the way of the wind. It is harder for the one afflicted, even, than it is for those he or she accosts: the heart is torn by wind, and the words and deeds which proceed from that turbulence further nothing.

Some words that helped me tonight…

“Being in harmony does not mean that we do not disagree or make mistakes and miss opportunities to understand one another. It means that we are doing our best and there is no division or split within the Sangha. We are sincerely practicing the way of liberation and peace for ourselves and for each other. We never forget our commitment to each other, our commitment to ourselves to practice mindfulness night and day, dwelling happily in the present moment. That is the teaching of the Sutra on Knowing the Better Way to Live Alone. Harmony is our daily practice; it is our most essential practice.”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Joyfully Together